I just saw a hot homeless man
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
