stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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