Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
