The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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