Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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