Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
