i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
