drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
