i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
