i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Boobs are out for the taking
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
