This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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