Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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