Non-Jews are for practice
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
