it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The uberlube is also flammable
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All I want is dick and wine.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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