I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
