ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm at about main and main street
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
