my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
