I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
