was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
