you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize