Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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