Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
