32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
