Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
