East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
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