Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have aggressive nipples.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
