I look better un-naked...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
