Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
