Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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