There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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