Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
either way he was missing a nipple.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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