My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
