he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
