I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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