You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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