yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
