p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
