I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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