We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
