so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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