Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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