I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
