I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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