U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
