I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
