she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
