wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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