The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you would pick up someone in the library
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
