I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
