just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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