help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
