apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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