dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.