Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
