I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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