Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
