There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
